theinsaneeraser: (Gabriel/Sam Wings.)
[personal profile] theinsaneeraser
Title: Imaginary
Author: [livejournal.com profile] theinsaneeraser 
Rating: NC-17
Genra/Pairngs: Schmoop, Angst, food/sweet!Porn, Wing!kink. Gabriel/Sam with a healthy side of Dean/Cas and mild Bobby/Crowley pre-slash.
Spoilers: All of Season Five, the beinning of season six?
Warnings: Sadness...srsly, kleenex's are needed.
Word Count: 10,857
Summary: “He stuck himself in the angelic equivalent of a coma. He went in on himself, buried deep within his mind and it’s draining his grace.” Crowley stared directly at Sam. “And it’s killing him.”
Notes: Thanks to my Beta [livejournal.com profile] sarahlizzie! Dunno where this came from, but yeah, hope you all enjoy! This is sort-of based off an rp me and [livejournal.com profile] angeltrenchcoat did. Exchanges and BigBangs HERE

 
~*~*~*~

Sam stared, because he really hadn’t believed it, but it actually existed.

Gabriel really did have a candy mountain in his head.

Gabriel grinned and led Sam through the sprinkle grass and past the peppermint trees with cinnamon stumps towards the chocolate waterfall that ran side by side to the caramel river. Sam blinked as he saw a gumdrop boulder and when they reached the chocolate waterfall, the left the sprinkle grass for the edible confetti sand and Sam just had to laugh, because this was just too good. He noticed the icing snow to top it all off and he shook his head.

It was so Gabriel.

Gabriel slipped off his jacket, throwing it over a gram cracker bench that Sam swore wasn’t there a moment ago, and then his shirt too as he stripped down to his boxers. Sam opened his mouth and then shut it, his cheeks going slightly pink as he watched Gabriel undress, the way his muscles moved perfectly with each movement, and yeah, Gabriel was very good looking and Sam had the sudden urge to touch but he didn’t.

Instead he started stripping off his own clothes, slowly as he watched Gabriel flex, stretch and move his wings, as if he was trying to adjust them every time the breeze changed direction. That probably was the reason, the other was that he was showing off for Sam and then again that could also be plausible, but that meant Gabriel was welcoming things that Sam wasn’t sure he wanted to think about yet.

Gabriel grinned and walked backwards to wards the chocolate water, where it lapped at the confetti, leaving little blobs of chocolate that hardened, and then melted again when the chocolate touched it once more, and Sam suddenly wondered if the chocolate was hot, but when he stepped into a shallow area, the chocolate only coming up to his ankles, it was only pleasantly warm.

The chocolate itself felt weird, it was thick, but still watery and it wasn’t as sticky as he thought it would be. Gabriel proved this by being almost all the way in, and the chocolate itself was rolling in tiny droplets off his wings, but clinging like water to his skin and God if he didn’t look edible. Sam chuckled and slowly waded in, following Gabriel who was grinning from ear to ear. Sam could no longer touch the ground by the time he had reached the archangel.

Gabriel swam in circles around him on his back as he lapped the chocolate off his fingers, slowly. Sam watched his pink tongue dart out at the droplets and rivers running down his fingers and he shook his head and dunked down under the chocolate before lifting his head back up and shaking it, spraying chocolate in every direction. He licked his lips, taking in the rich milk chocolate taste and smiled because of course only Gabriel would have the best.

“Mm, good right?”

Sam nodded and Gabriel swam closer, pushing at Sam’s chest gently. Sam raised an eyebrow but moved backwards until the chocolate was raining down on him from the waterfall. Gabriel grinned, closed his eyes and tilted his head back with his tongue out, catching the chocolate with his mouth. Sam laughed and tilted his own head back and mirrored Gabriel, eyes closed as he caught some of the sweet substance on his tongue, before choking as Gabriel splashed him, causing his to swallow a bit much at a time.

He turned to glare at the grinning archangel before splashing him back. Gabriel grinned and suddenly his lips were on Sam’s. Sam shivered and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss instinctively because Gabriel’s kisses were kind of addicting. He opened his mouth for the archangel and moaned softly when his tongue ran against the top of his mouth, then down the sides, spreading the sweetness from the chocolate and something that was just Gabriel, earthy and bright, around his mouth.

Gabriel pushed Sam back till they were both completely under the waterfall, Gabriel’s wings working as an umbrella, blocking out most of the chocolate, but some still made it through and Sam didn’t really care. He wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller forum, pulling him even closer, till their bare chests were pressed together, so close he could feel the chocolate being pushed to the side. Gabriel chuckled into the kiss and wrapped his legs around Sam’s waist.

Sam broke the kiss to catch his breath, lifting his head up to see Gabriel’s wings spread above them, with only small drizzles of chocolate sneaking their way through. Sam reached out and brushed his fingers through the closest ones he could, sucking in a breath because he has expected them to be soft, but not as soft as they actually were. Sam felt Gabriel shiver under his touch and he moved them farther down, towards his back, digging them in a bit deeper, tugging gently.

Gabriel let out a strangled sound and latched his mouth on Sam’s neck, sucking and nipping, causing Sam to groan as he tilted his head to the side, moving both hands to burry them deep in the downy feathers and dragging them through, taking in the feel of them, mapping out every feather slowly.

“Sammy,” Gabriel breathed against his neck and bit down, sucking harder and Sam’s fingers caught in the feathers, tugging them as he groaned. “Sam, if you don’t-” Gabriel moaned. “Stop I’m going to-” he whimpered softly. “Go farther then you may be willing to go.”

Sam tightened his hold on the feathers but paused. He could feel Gabriel’s hardness through his boxers and Sam shivered, dropping one hand down, but keeping the other buried in Gabriel’s feathers as he went back to exploring them. Gabriel keened softly and ground into Sam, whose hand stilled his hip before slipping into Gabriel’s boxers. He gripped Gabriel’s erection and slowly, tentatively since he really didn’t know how far he wanted to go, started to stroke him.

Gabriel breaths caught and he went stiff before melting into Sam’s touch, his breath running down Sam’s back, making the little hairs on his neck stand up as Gabriel moaned, gripping his shoulders.

“Sam…Fuck, Sammy…” Gabriel licked and nipped at his neck. “You don’t-”

Sam shut him up with a kiss and pumped his hand faster, more sure of himself now as he felt Gabriel squirming against him, breathing as hard as Sam was if not a bit harder. Sam smiled and closed his eyes, taking in the sounds vibrating around his mouth and the feel of Gabriel’s skin moving against his, until Gabriel’s hand wrapped around his own forgotten erection as he gripped it tight and slid his hand up and down the shaft, his thumb teasing the slit. Sam moaned and pulled Gabriel closer, hands sliding from his wings to wrap around the archangels waist and pull him closer.

Sam wonders vaguely why he never did this sooner, why he never gave into the feelings he’d had for the archangel who at first he thought was a Trickster. Still, he was glad it was happening now, that he was having this time with Gabriel, because if he didn’t find a way to convince Gabriel he was worth living for, this would be all he had. He tightened his grip around Gabriel’s waist and cried out as he came, Gabriel’s name on his lips.

That seemed to be all Gabriel needed as he came as well, Sam’s name cried against their locked lips before Sam fell back against the cliff wall, which turned out to be made of cake. Sam could feel the tears running down his cheek but he his them in the crook of Gabriel’s neck and blamed the chocolate. He controlled the tremors, trying not to give away how he was feeling; he didn’t want Gabriel to worry.

“You alright Sammy?”

“Yeah, just, that was new for me, never did it before. But it was good.” Sam kissed Gabriel once more and closed his eyes, blinking away the tears before smiling into the kiss. “I think I love you too Gabriel.”

“Mmm, I know kiddo.” Gabriel grinned and pulled Sam back into the kiss.

~*~*~*~

Crowley sat on the edge of the bed, like he did most of the time, just watching the two, making sure he’d be there if anything happened, if Gabriel slipped away or if anything happened to Sam. Because whether he liked it or not Sam was helping Gabriel, and he knew Gabriel wouldn’t listen to anyone else; it had to be Sam. Sam meant a lot to Gabriel, and although Crowley knew he meant a lot to the archangel too, it was different with Sam.

Gabriel loved Sam in ways neither Gabriel nor Crowley had thought he ever would again. It was good, Crowley liked it because anytime the hunter was brought up there would be that smile, the smile Crowley had always waited for. Crowley considered Gabriel one of his only friends, they were close and only Gabriel truly understood him, and the archangel meant a lot. They both beat the odds. Crowley was a demon who cared and Gabriel was an angel who enjoyed life.

Gabriel liked the humans, not because he had to but because he wanted to, because he liked hanging around with them and mingling. He didn’t watch over them, didn’t treat them like they were some sort of toy, he treated them like humans, he acted like a human and that’s why he was the way he was. Sure he was a Trickster, who dished out punishment, and sometimes the punishment was a little harsh, but that was just the tiny angel part of him that was left, bleeding into his Trickster side.

Gabriel hadn’t tried to kill Crowley because he was a demon, in fact Gabriel had done the opposite, he’d friended Crowley and brought him in with the other Tricksters, making him feel at home for the first time since he’d become this.

That’s why Gabriel meant a lot to him.

“Sam’ll take care of him.”

“I know.”

Crowley turned around to see Bobby standing in the doorway, before he walked in and took a seat in one of the chairs by the bed.

“He really means a lot to you doesn’t he?”

“Yes, he does.” Crowley nodded and brushed a hand through Gabriel’s hair, being careful not to bump into his wings, which had materialized only an hour after Dean left.

The feathers were starting to fall out, which worried Crowley.

“That’s why yer playin’ nice with Dean, to make it easier for Sam to stay with him.”

Crowley chuckled. “Yes.” He picked up one of the feathers and twirled between his thumb and forefinger. “He is less likely to throw a fuss if he’s pleased. Though having him worry about his angel is working just as well.”

“That why you had that talk with him?”

“No.” Crowley sighed. “I had that talk with him because Gabriel doesn’t need to be worrying about Castiel’s state of mind when he needs to be worrying about his own.”

“I see.”

They were quiet, just sitting there watching the slow shifts of moments, or when a feather would fall to the mattress or floor. The soft sounds Sam or Gabriel would make before moving closer. Gabriel shifting his wings to lay them across them both like a blanket. Small things, little things that told them they were alive, okay and possibly happy. Crowley didn’t know what was going on inside Gabriel mind but he knew they were happy, and as long as Gabriel was happy there was still hope.

“Yer not too bad for a demon.”

Crowley turned to look at Bobby with a raised eyebrow.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Bobby snorted and shifted in his seat, fiddling with his fingers. “You act like yer some big, evil demon who cares about nothin’, when that’s not true.” Bobby chuckled. “Yer just a big softy, hidin’ behind a bad-boy façade.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a demon who steals people’s souls, damns them to hell and I could care less if it’s wrong.”

“You gave me my legs when you didn’t have to, and you gave my soul back.”

“I only ever gave your soul back, never anyone else’s,” Crowley mumbled and went back to watching Gabriel and Sam.

Bobby didn’t answer and the lapsed back into silence.

~*~*~*~

Dean pulled back in to the junkyard to see Cas sitting atop one of the piles of cars, gazing out over the slowly setting sun. His trench coat was off, hung over the side of the car as he lay out, his leg dangling over the side in an almost human fashion. Dean silently closed the door to his baby and walked over, trying to keep as quiet as he could, thanking his life as a hunter for making it easier then it should have been.

Dean waited, watching the sun sink below the horizon and the moon take its place, splashing everything in silver, making Cas look like he was glowing. Dean swallowed hard and watched the haunted, sad look in his eyes.

Dean rubbed his face with his hand before sighing, which caught Cas’ attention. Dean watched him turned to stare at Dean, and their eyes caught. Dean could see all the emotions flooding through the angels eyes, the pain, the hurt, the sadness, the regret, the love. Dean slumped and he saw Cas reach for his trench coat, like he was going to leave.

“Cas…” Dean looked at the floor. “I’m sorry.”

There was a brush of wind and the sound of distant wings before he felt Cas in front of him. He lifted his head and Cas stood there, once again in his trench coat. Dean took a step forward and Cas didn’t move, just stared at him.

“You hurt me.” He spoke softly.

“I know Cas, I…I’m sorry.” Dean grabbed a hold of Cas; trench coat and pulling him closer, his other hand grabbing Cas’ tie. “I was stupid, and childish and I have this stupid fear of people leaving me, king of abandonment issues Sammy says, and when you left, and Sam was gone and then you were back and everything inside my head was jumbled, I couldn’t sort them out and I was frustrated, because I was mad, mad that you left but oh so glad you were back.

“I just, I just didn’t know how to handle it, the feelings, the emotion the pain, all of it was an overload and I lashed out because I was scared, scared you were just going to leave me again and I couldn’t handle that, not again. I couldn’t watch you walk away again after opening up. So I pushed you away, because it was safe, and I wanted safe and Lisa was safe but I don’t want safe anymore Cas.” Dean pulled him down and pressed his lips against Cas’ gripping him tighter as his body trembled with unshed tears, tears he wouldn’t cry.

Cas wrapped an arm around Dean’s waist and pulled him completely into him as he returned the kiss, pushing Dean back against one of the cars. Dean allowed him, deepening the kiss and opening, letting Cas in, and the kiss turned from slow and steady to fast and needy, a clash of tongues, teeth and lips as they clung to each other desperately, neither willing to back down or let go in fear of it ending and falling apart, shattering the fragile moment.

Dean finally broke the kiss, needing air, but he didn’t let go of Cas, their lips still close together as the breathed in time.

“Don’t go.”

Their eyes met and Cas nodded.

“I won’t.”

Dean pulled Cas back into a kiss, this one heated, but full of something Dean hadn’t wanted to admit to himself, didn’t want to feel; it was painful. Cas lifted Dean up onto one of the cars and moved between his legs, his hands sliding ups his shirt and caressing his chest, mapping out every inch of skin he could touch, and Dean let him, clung to Cas and let him take. It was something Dean had been scared off, he feared it, but now, now he welcomed it.

He loved Cas.

 

Dean and Cas entered the house a few hours later of just touching and kissing and being close, until they both felt safe enough to not be touching each other every second. Dean would deny it if anyone asked, because Dean Winchester was no girl, but he had needed the contact, the touching in a way that wasn’t sexual in a way that was just Cas and nothing else.

They headed up the stairs to Gabriel and Sam’s room, where Bobby was asleep on a chair and Crowley was draping a blanket over him. Dean raised an eyebrow but Crowley gave him a look that said if he commented he’d regret it. Instead he looked over to the bed where Gabriel had wrapped Sam in his wings, which really didn’t look much like wings anymore, his whole left wing was bare of feathers, and his right side was starting to loose them as well. It made Dean stomach queasy to see that and Cas made a sad cry sound as he watched a feather fall to the floor.

Dean’s hand instantly found Cas’ and squeezed, trying to calm his angel down, hating hearing the sad sounds he was making. Bobby opened his eyes and frowned when he saw Gabriel, and even Sam was looking a little pale, which worried Dean. Both him and Cas quickly moved to their brothers side.

“What’s going on, this doesn’t look right.” Dean frowned as he ran hands over Sam, making sure he was breathing, that he wasn’t too warm.

“No.” Crowley agreed. “It isn’t.”

~*~*~*~

Sam lay in Gabriel’s arms underneath the starry sky as fireflies flew around above them. Sam was content, happy and warm. It felt right being here with him.

“Gabriel.”

Gabriel pulled him closer, smiling as he wrapped them in his wings. “Yeah Kiddo?”

“I don’t want you to die, again. I want you to come back.” Sam rolled over so he was propped up on his arms above him. “I love you and I don’t want to go back and not have you there.”

Gabriel stared up at him before sighing and nodding. “Alright kiddo, just lets stay here tonight, okay?”

Sam smiled and leaned down to kiss him. “Alright.”

Sam blinked, his legs feeling a little tingly, and it moved to his arms and Gabriel pushed himself up.

“Sammy?”

“Gabriel, what’s going on?”

“I dunno kiddo.”

Sam looked down at his hand and it was fading. He turned to look at Gabriel with panic. The archangel furrowed his brows.

“It’s not supposed to happen like this…”

Sam fell back against Gabriel, feeling sleepy and tiered.

“Sam, Sammy I’m sorry.” Gabriel pulled Sam into his lap and Sam clung to him. “I’m so sorry Sammy, I love you, love you so much…”

“N-no…” Sam clung to Gabriel and tears rolled down his face. “What’s happening Gabriel, why are you saying you’re sorry?”

“It’s too late Sam, I don’t know why it’s not supposed to, but…the connection is fading Sam. I’m so sorry.”

Sam closed his eyes, unable to keep them open any longer.

 

Sam sat up fast as he turned to look at Gabriel, Gabriel with his wings without feathers, only a few stray ones clinging to the skeleton, Gabriel’s pale face and blue lips and no no no no no. Sam turned to see Cas fussing over Gabriel, and then Dean was pulling him back and Sam was crying and fighting and he needed to get to him, because Gabriel wanted to come back, Gabriel was going to come back this wasn’t supposed to happen.

Sam saw a watery Crowley join Cas as they tried to help him, and Dean pulled Sam off the bed and they both fell to the floor and then Sam was burying his face in Dean’s chest as he shook, tears running down his face. Gabriel had to be okay, he wanted to come back, he loved Sam and Sam loved him and this wasn’t, he couldn’t…


"GABRIEL!"

~*~*~*~
 

((Ducks under my bed in a safe hidling place. "BEFORE YOU ALL KILL ME!" pokes head out carefully. "I may...MAY right a sequle, I am in the midst of now writting a House/Spn crossover, but there is a good chance there will be a sequle, though depends on how busy I am, so no killing me!" burried self back under bed where it is safe))
 

 


on 2010-09-15 11:37 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] queenie-mab.livejournal.com
*Sobs* That was just so sad! It was beautifully written and the ending was perfect even though it was sad. You're so right about needing kleenex.

~Mab

on 2010-09-15 11:52 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
Awe, thankies hun, I always love your feedback and thankies for the word war!

on 2010-09-15 03:28 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] arialyre.livejournal.com
..O.O YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. YOU HAVE TO WRITE A SEQUEL. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE IT THERE D: *cries*

on 2010-09-16 12:50 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
I know, I'm evil...and I DID plan a happy ending but then that just wrote itself and I was like...well, I guess I could keep it XD

on 2010-09-15 04:08 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mulder200.livejournal.com
Wow! That ending was quite a killer. Literally.

I definitely look forward to the sequel.

on 2010-09-16 12:50 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
lol, thankies!

I dunno if there will be one though O.o

on 2010-09-15 05:58 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] siennis.livejournal.com
::crying:: NO!!

YOU FIX THIS!! YOU FIX THIS RIGHT NOW!!! ::falls to the floor, sobbing::

on 2010-09-16 12:51 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
D: I'm sorry! *picks you up and hands you kleneex* I may right a sequle I dunnop yet DX

on 2010-09-15 06:07 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] miss-blueeyes.livejournal.com
please, please write a sequel, please

on 2010-09-16 12:52 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
it's looking more and more that I might have too >.>

on 2010-09-16 01:20 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] castielssamiel.livejournal.com
...your evil, you're beyond evil and you have to do the sequel because now I'm crying and it's just not right...

*sniffle*

on 2010-09-16 02:20 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
I'm sorry. D:

on 2010-09-16 01:26 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] angelus-rahl.livejournal.com
You made my eyes leak! Shame on you. *wibbles*

on 2010-09-16 04:32 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] angelus-rahl.livejournal.com
It's okay. I probably just had something in my eye ^_^

on 2010-09-16 04:37 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
Thats okay, I bawled while writitng it XD

on 2010-09-16 03:58 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ebilchickens.livejournal.com
O_____________O

SEQUEL... I mean. *cough* Please? *grins* *flashes puppy dog eyes*

on 2010-09-16 04:20 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
XD It's looking more and more likely that asequl will be made >.>

on 2010-09-16 12:04 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lonelyphoenix85.livejournal.com
He's not dead really right? Because I'm pretty sure he's not allowed to be dead - that's just evil! Sequel, pretty please?

on 2010-09-16 12:05 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
>.> I'm not saying anything.

and apperntly I have too, with all the reviews asking for one.

on 2010-09-20 08:00 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] la-mariane.livejournal.com
No! I thought it would be a happy ending, and then, THAT! You really need to write the sequel and FIX IT! Pretty please?

on 2010-09-21 01:05 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
to tell you the truth I thought it was going to be ahappy neding too, it's what I had planned and then THIS came out...

I will write it as soon as I have time.

on 2010-11-08 04:58 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] got-fanfiction.livejournal.com
goddammit. D:< this was great and the AGNST FEST OF DOOM bitch slapped me in the face.

i really, REALLY hope you're working on that sequel. :D

signed,

got-fanfiction :3

on 2010-11-08 05:51 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
Yeah, I went through a major angst stage o.o...

nope, haven't even started it yet XD

on 2010-12-15 06:21 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] celestialoceans.livejournal.com
Um...I read this story a couple months ago but never left a comment. THIS WAS AMAZING!!!! Please do a sequel; this actually made me cry. Sam and Gabe need a resolution...Please??? Very good with the characters. They sound like they do on Show. Wonderful.

on 2011-02-13 08:15 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] wiccan-rogue.livejournal.com
Evil Evil person... please send me the link to the sequle when you get it up please *gives a puppy eyes*

on 2011-02-13 11:30 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
I haven;t actaully gotten around to a sequle, and it's not looking likly.

on 2011-03-20 05:30 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] 13-midnight-85.livejournal.com
I loved it, it was sweet and a bit tragic and I think we need that out there at times, life isnt all happy endings after all. Great story, thank-you for writing it.

on 2011-03-20 05:56 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
Oh, wow, thankies! Glad you like ^^

on 2011-04-25 11:13 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kahuri-chan.livejournal.com
*Wipes eyes* This was beyond tragic; At the end I swear I could feel Sams heart break at the end there.

I prey to all thats holy that you have a fix-it sequal planned since it so needs to be fixed you cant leave Sammy broken like this. So pretty please sequal lol.

on 2011-05-02 10:00 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] eparnam.livejournal.com
I take it there probably won't be a sequel to this... And even though I would very much like one, I really liked this story. Great job, you're fantastic!

on 2011-05-02 10:06 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theinsaneeraser.livejournal.com
I had thought I could flush one out, but the insperation never came to me unfortunitly, but I am glad you enjoyed it!

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