This Can't be One of Them: Part Two

[theinsaneeraser]

This Can't be One of Them: Part Two

~*~*~*~





“Sam-” Castiel started but Sam cut him off with a raise of this hand.


“Please, don’t, I’m fine.” He mumbled, head bent to hide his lie, because Angels had an uncanny sense for knowing when you were bull-shitting them. “Really, pl-”


“Would you let him bloody well finish?” Balthazar demanded and Sam blinked at how thick the angel’s accent could be when he was flustered or frustrated. “If you would shut up for one moment you’d realise he was trying to tell you something important… stupid apes.” He muttered the last part to himself but Sam ignored it, looking to Castiel who was frowning at him.


“You did not need to be so…Harsh brother.” Castiel explained calmly.


“He was, as the humans say, sulking he was not going to respond to anything else.”


“Since when are you so well versed in human emotions?” Castiel shot back. “You do not seem like you love them very much.”


“I do not love them, no, but I do not hate them either. I have also spent a lot of my ‘death’ around them, and their souls.” He clicked his tongue. “Their souls tell many, many stories.”


Sam had no clue what the fuck was going on, but it sort of reminded him of Dean and himself, back before the demons and angels and war, back when it had just been them, on the road, searching for their absent father. It brought a small smile to his face before he shook his head and stared at them as they continued to bicker, then looked at Dean whose eyes were glazed over. He must have been thinking the same thing as him.


“Um, not trying to break up the brotherly bonding or anything, but um… what were you trying to say Cas?” Sam stared at them and Castiel looked towards Balthazar with some of that brotherly angst – an angelic equivalent of a bitch-face – before turning to Sam and nodding.


“That is not Gabriel, no, but it is his Grace.” When Sam opened his mouth to ask him what the hell he was talking about Castiel held up a hand. “This is not the place to talk about this, may I speak with you alone?”


“I’m not sure leav-” but apparently it wasn’t a request because there was a hand on his shoulder and then they were no longer in the Candy shop. Sam blinked – they were in the alley behind it, so still close – and turned to Castiel who was staring at him in that creepy way of his.


“That is Gabriel’s grace, inside that human, but he is not Gabriel. Somehow…” Castiel frowned. “Someone, or Gabriel himself – though I wouldn’t know why – ripped out parts of his Grace, when that happens normally they are supposed to disappear, become nothing, instead Gabriel’s attached themselves to humans.”


Sam frowned.


“Someone ripped out pieces of Gabriel’s Grace? But who?” even as he asked the question the sickening truth was right there. Lucifer. “But they are brothers Castiel, really close brothers how could he…not to…” Sam felt like he was going to be sick and Castiel looked troubled.


“Lucifer’s Grace was twisted down in hell, trapped in a small cell with only his anger and betrayal for company he was no longer Gabriel’s brother, he was very much in fact the devil you humans named him.” he frowned. “He would do almost anything, if he believed it to be the right thing.”


Sam opened his mouth before shutting it and crossing his arms, leaning against the wall because it made sense in a sick, twisted horrible way. Gabriel’s own Grace had been twisted and re-formed from his pagan days, even his wings were tainted from his stunts as Loki. Gabriel had killed m any humans and done some stupid things, but Sam didn’t believe Gabriel capable of harming his brothers or sisters in that way, in fact he avoided all conflict between them like the plague.


It made him angry, to know that Lucifer had had Gabriel and that he’d been there and could have done something. He had not know that for sure, but that didn’t stop the burn of guilt in his gut. He wished Michael would have killed Lucifer, and now the thought of Lucifer having to suffer eternity with the one he loved hating him just wasn’t enough.


“So, that’s what she wants me to do, gather his Grace?” Sam looked up at Castiel who shrugged just a little.


“I do not know, but it would not hurt to do it anyways.”


“Do you know how many pieces are out there?”


Castiel looked towards the ground. “You can only do so much damage to an angel’s Grace before it kills them, like a human soul it is fragile. With the amount of Grace inside that human I’d say six at the most, before the damage started being permanent. I do…not know if Lucifer would harm him past healing, but that may be the case.”


No, Sam wouldn’t let it. Sam would collect all the pieces, no matter how many there were and he’d fix Gabriel, help him he whole again; because he loved the archangel.


“How do I get it out?” Sam looked at Castiel who was fidgeting now, like he was uncomfortable.


“His Grace seemed to…remember you, that was why he asked if he knew you. It is rare for that to happen with an angel and a human, even more so with a human and an archangel.” He fiddled with the sleeve of his trench coat. “You are the only one who can remove it. You must get close and call it to you.”


Sam furrowed his brows but Castiel was already walking away, obviously uncomfortable with the subject. He sighed and watched him leave before staring up at the sky.


God, if you really are still listening, um, please keep Gabriel safe and help me do this, help me collect them all and fix him. I want him to be whole again, to be himself.


He sighed and walked back into the store.


Sam had decided that buying candy was the best way to get close and since he really wasn’t one for sweets, he had Anthony Gardler – the man’s name – point things out to him. He told the man that he liked sweet things, but not super-sweet and sour was good, and he liked things tasted like cherries and apples. He wasn’t a big fan of chocolate but dark was cool with him.


Anthony nodded the whole time, making small talk or comments that had Sam laughing as they put together a bag of assorted sweets that Dean was not touching. He was having fun and the elder man was smart and a little cheeky and it was almost like having Gabriel back; almost. There were many differences, like the air around him was different, he was taller and didn’t radiate the heat that Gabriel did.


So, then it came time to pay, he handed over some of the money – he did not want to cheat him out with the credit cards – and then closed his eyes as he focused on that tugging sensation. He felt the tiny prickle of energy, something recognizable and he pulled, calling it towards him and then everything happened really fast. He was standing one moment, the next he felt like he was falling in slow motion, like he was caught in molasses.


He could feel the warmth latch onto something deep inside him – his soul? – and snake around it, tightening and cutting off his breath as he finally hit the ground, pulling his knees into his chest, wrapping his arms around them. The Grace released finally, and Sam gasped for breath as he felt the Grace settle into his soul, like it belonged there. He looked up at Dean who had dropped down to his knees by his head and Castiel who was kneeling by his hip.


“Sam, Sam talk to me, are you alright?” Dean whispered and Sam had the weird feeling of Deja-vu, which he should have because it had been the same thing when the Orb had given him that vision. He blinked a few times, trembling a little but with Dean’s help, he sat up and stared at Castiel who was staring at him with wide eyes. Balthazar whistled and Castiel shot him a look. Sam wasn’t really paying attention, or well he was but he really didn’t care.


“I’m…I’m fine, is Anthony okay?” Sam shook his head, trying to clear it of the fuzziness that was taking over, making him tiered.


“He is fine, he will wake up with no recollection of today, buy you need rest.” Dean must have taken the hint because he was being hauled to his feet.


“’m fine.” He mumbled and stumbled forward, only to have Cas and Dean both stop him from face planting. “Just…tired.”


“For someone so smart you really are stupid.” Dean snorted and then Sam slipped off into blissful blackness.


~*~*~*~

Gabriel had been held up in his room, curled up under the blankets as he watched them flutter from the breeze coming in through the open terrace. He had been hiding, hiding from the knowledge that he was scared, frightened when he shouldn’t be. It didn’t make sense to him, nothing did right now, he couldn’t feel anything; not like he used to. He couldn’t even see Crowley anymore, just the human he occupied.


He was sleeping, and although he didn’t need to eat, it was still scary enough. He knew that when Angel’s rip out the Grace of another, it kills them, but when they rip out chunks it does damage as well. He can’t remember the last time he wanted sweets or really wanted anything. He felt more like a human now than he ever had.


He was just thankful he had Raven and Crowley, who – at this very moment – he was pushing away. He closed his eyes and let out a sharp breath before kicking of the covers and sliding off the edge and onto his feet. He yawned and stretched before padding over to the door, turning off the wards and stepping out.


When there was a sharp pain in his chest.


All air was ripped from his lungs and he was floored – he vaguely heard his kneecaps creaking as his knees impacted the hard stone floor – with a cry. He doubled over, arms crossed over his stomach as the pain continued to shoot through his vessel and the tarred shards of his Grace.


“Gabriel?” a worried voice called, and he heard the harsh thuds of footfalls from two people. Everything was so loud.


Then everything was quiet, just complete and utter silence and he felt Raven drop down to his side, hand on his back, Crowley on his other, fingers caressing his spine. He was sure they were talking to him, but he couldn’t hear them and his eyes were closed tightly with the pain so he couldn’t see them either. It was like all his senses were getting cut off.


“Gabriel…” a soft, familiar voice called and sent shivers through his vessel. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’m going to fix you, don’t worry.”


Gabriel opened his eyes to see a world of black – he must have passed out or clacked out or something. But in front of him...in front of him was Sam. Sam how he remembered him, with his floppy hair, brilliant smile and sparkling eyes with only the ghost of pain, not the Sam who had been through it all.


“Sammy…” he whispered and choked on a sob as he reached out, fearing that if he did he’d disappear and Gabriel would wake up but instead he grasped cloth and then there was an arm around his waist, pulling him close. He followed the tug and buried his face in the human’s chest and his body shook with tears. “I’m sorry, Sammy, so sorry, I won’t leave you, not again I promise.”


“Hey, hey, hey.” The hunter scolded gently. “None of that now, it’s alright.” He smiled and placed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you Gabriel, will always love you. I’m going to fix you, going to make you feel better. ”


Gabriel gripped his shirt. “But you’re dead.” He whispered. “You said yes, you aren’t real.” He clung tighter and closed his eyes. This was a dream, a nice dream but no less a dream.


“What, no.” Sam spluttered and Gabriel blinked, looking up at him. “Raven didn’t tell you?” he frowned. “I didn’t say yes, I said no. I’m still alive Gabriel, I’m right here.”


Gabriel furrowed his brows and stared at him for a moment, his thoughts swimming before it really hit him. This was Sam, Sam was real; alive. He buried his face back in Sam’s chest and let the hunter soothe him.


“I love you too Sam.”


He closed his eyes and smiled.




“He seemsss alright now. Do you know what could have caussssed him to passsss out like that? Wass hissss Grace tarnissshed more than we thought?” he could hear Crowley asking in a soft hiss.


“No.” was Ravens reply and then there was a cold cloth placed on his forehead. “It is something else all together.” She replied and Gabriel twitched a little, but didn’t force his eyes open; he wanted to go back to sleep.


He didn’t want to be awake; he wanted to go back to Sam, to be with Sam again. He had thought Sam was gone, but he wasn’t, he was alive, alive and out there and suddenly Gabriel felt angry at Raven for not telling him. That wasn’t the point though, the point was Raven knew how Gabriel felt about the hunter, knew what being around Sam would do.


“He iss awake.” Crowley pointed out and Gabriel felt him coil on his chest. “He issss not happy either.”


“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered and opened his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me Sam was okay?”


“You never asked.” She stated and stared at him without guilt.


“You know ho-”


“Being around him now will do nothing but harm. He has something he must complete before you can be reunited again.” She stood up. “You may not understand why now, and you may hate me, but it is for your own good.” She turned away. “You may not believe this, but someday you will see.” And then she left.


Gabriel frowned – he didn’t pout – at the spot where she had been before looking down at Crowley who was shaking his head, his tongue darting in and out quickly. He didn’t know what Raven was playing at, but he knew she’d never do anything to hurt him; at least he hoped. Raven was one of the few people he trusted.


“Did you know what was going on- what is going on?” he demanded of the snake – now coiled in his lap as he’d sat up.


“No.” he stated plainly.


Gabriel sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “I was dreaming of him, only I don’t think it was a dream, but I couldn’t tell…” he closed his eyes. “It seemed more real, and all this…it’s too overwhelming, I’m so close to being human, I can’t even tell if I’m still an angel.”


“You are persssissstently annoying Gabriel, but human you are not.” Crowley eyed him. “You just need to remember that.” He chuckled, as much as a snack could. “You would make a horrible human.”


Gabriel wrinkled his nose and shoved him off his lap and off the bed. “Oh shut up, I’d make an awesome human.” and for now he was back.


He could still feel the lingering warmth of Sam’s fingertips on his skin.


~*~*~*~

After Gabriel left, everything was a blur of images and sounds: wedding bells, falling snow, white dresses, someone running; always running. By the time he woke up, Castiel and Dean were worried and Balthazar looked upset, like he had hoped Sam wouldn’t wake up. He rubbed at his eyes and blinked, looking down to notice the orb in his hand.


“You grabbed it in your sleep.” Castiel supplied. “You were also calling out Gabriel’s name, and crying.” Castiel was staring at him worriedly, like maybe he was going slightly insane or that he was having nightmares again.


Sam blinked and shook his head. He couldn’t exactly grasp at everything, only that it had been Gabriel, that he was there and he wasn’t dead; he was alive. Not that Sam thought he was, but this was proof to calm his nerves. He stared back at Cas before smiling. “No, he just left suddenly and I was happy. I saw him.”


“Of course you were.” Balthazar pushed off the wall. “You are a stupid human.” and then he left. Castiel frowned and turned to look at Sam who was confused.


“I am sorry, I will speak with him.” then he, too, was gone.


Everything was moving just a bit too fast for him, it was making his head spin. Dean was scowling and Sam sighed, leaning back down. He wished he could still be asleep; that Gabriel hadn’t left, but the fact that Gabriel was asleep startled him a little, made him worried. Also, he was craving…chocolate, and skittles. He really, really wanted skittles.


Dean moved to sit by the side of his bed and stared at him, and Sam wondered if he expected him to keel over or froth at the mouth or something. It made a smile tug at the side of his lips, which made Dean put on his best interpretation of a ‘bitch-face’, which only made Sam crack up more, suddenly feeling a little giddy – he also still wanted those skittles – and happy and really, he didn’t know why.


“Sam, did you lose some of her marbles, is Gabriel’s Grace frying your brain? Do I need to call Cas back?” There was a thread of worry and a whole lot of annoyance lacing his tone.


Sam shook his head as he laughed. “No, it’s just… you were… and then you tried…” he laughed harder and now Dean really looked worried.


“Cas! Cas I think he’s broken or something!” Dean called out and Sam grabbed his arm, shaking his head madly, wishing he could calm down enough to let him know that it wasn’t that he was broken or anything like that, he was just… Happy.


Sam was actually happy.


Okay, maybe there was something wrong with him.


He chuckled at that, calming down now as he pushed himself up on his elbows to look at Dean. “I’m fine, I’m just, happy, or cheerful or something. I don’t know, seeing Gabriel, knowing he’s here…it’s just reassuring I guess.” He shrugged and rubbed at his hand, which burned from where he’d grasped the Orb. “What did I miss while I was asleep?”


Dean eyed him a moment more before shaking his head. “Nothing much.” Dean yawned. “Just you gripping the orb and muttering something about a wedding, something about Loveland, Colorado.”


It came rushing back to Sam, the wedding, the falling snow and the street; W Eisenhower boulevard. He shook his head, trying to stop the flow of imaged before turning to look at Dean through a slight haze, like someone was tugging at him, before it stopped.


“The next piece of Gabriel’s Grace is in someone, at a wedding that’s taking place in two days.” He rubbed at his temples. “Somewhere in Loveland Colorado, and there’s something about W. Eisenhower boulevard.” He looked down at his stomach as it growled. “I’m starving.”


Dean raised an eyebrow before sighing and getting to his feet. “Loveland is a 14 hour drive from here; we’ll stop for breakfast on our way there."


Castiel and Balthazar hadn’t come back but Dean left a message on Cas’ cell phone. They had stopped for breakfast, where Sam had ordered chocolate chip pancakes…and drowned them in strawberry syrup. Dean had stopped eating to give him a look but Sam had just shrugged it off and ate the pancakes – which turned out to taste much better than his salads – and smiled as Dean watched him with worried eyes.


After fifteen hours on the road – they had made many pit stops for Dean’s pie and for Sam to stock up on Skittles, chocolate and gummy bears – they finally arrived. Sam feeling like he was going to burst with all the junk food – this really wasn’t like him. Sam didn’t exactly know what was going on with him, but he had a pretty good guess.


Dean had tried calling Castiel again, but like all the other times before he didn’t answer, and Dean gritted his teeth. Sam looked out at Loveland Lake, which was shining in the moonlight. It had been quite late when they had arrived. Dean stepped up beside him, placing his arms on the railing, his eyes distinct like he was thinking about something.


“You should just tell him.” Sam offered, having a feeling he knew what Dean was thinking about. “It won’t kill you, to tell Cas that you like him, you know.” Dean opened his mouth to protest and Sam held up a hand. “You don’t hide it very well, and it’s obvious he likes you as well.” Sam chuckled and closed his eyes. “Gabriel and I were trying to hook you two up when we were trapped back there.”


Dean opened his mouth and then closed it, shrugging as he stared out over the water and Sam rolled his eyes; stubborn idiot.


“Oh, this is so beautiful, this is going to be a gorgeous view!” A voice exclaimed, and both Dean and Sam turned their heads towards the female voice.


She was tall, probably five foot nine or five foot ten, with long blonde hair in ringlets, pinned to the top of her head, and shining grey eyes as she gripped the railing for dear life; a hat clasped in her hand. She was wearing a purple sundress that was modest, with thicker spaghetti straps and white slippers. She reminded Sam a little of Jessica and he felt the pang of hurt bubble in his chest, which he shoved aside because that was not something he wanted to think about.


He shoved a handful of Skittles into his mouth.


“Okay, seriously dude. What is up with all the candy?” Dean finally asked, staring at him with a worried look.


Sam really didn’t know, it was ever since he’d woken up he’d craved anything sweet, it really didn’t matter what it was but Skittles and chocolate seemed to appease his craving more. He really didn’t want to think about it and chopped it up to missing Gabriel, but with the way Dean was staring at him, he was starting to get worried himself. He swallowed what was in his mouth – he hadn’t lost his manners – before shrugging.


“I don’t know…it’s good though.” Sam stared back out over the water. “Would have thought you’d be glad, since you’re always complaining about my ‘rabbit food’.”


“It’s just…strange and not like you and way too much is weird right now we don’t need-”


“It’s Gabriel.” Castiel stated, appearing to their left, making Dean jump, but Sam could… sense him and now he was freaked. “He has taken parts of Gabriel’s Grace into himself. I was afraid this would happen, but he is gaining the parts of Grace, like the humans who had them before. The more he does this the more-”


“He becomes an angel, an archangel to be exact.” Balthazar stared down at his fingers like he’d rather be anywhere else but here, but the way he kept eyeing Castiel and the way Castiel was avoiding his look completely, was suspicious.


That pushed aside, Sam dropped his bag of Skittles and he was pretty sure Dean was having an aneurysm. Castiel stared at them both like they should have figured this out but it had not even crossed Sam’s mind that he might be becoming a fucking angel! He stared back at Castiel – which, now it kind of made sense why he had sensed the angel appear, and he figured Bal was hiding from too many angel’s for Sam’s small about of… of Grace to pick up.


“So Sam’s becoming a dick.” Dean was also staring at Castiel like he should just make it disappear and Castiel tilted his head and now they were having their conversations with their eyes and Sam turned to Balthazar.


“By taking pieces of Gabriel’s Grace into you like you are, you are becoming what those pieces of Grace represent. The Grace itself is attaching itself to your soul, weaving into it and creating something new. Slowly, as you take in bits of Gabriel’s Grace, you will become him. The changes will undo once they are back in Gabriel, or so that’s what Castiel hopes.”


That didn’t sound promising and Sam was about to comment just that when he heard a girlish cry and he looked around to see the hat that the girl had been holding, flying towards them. Sam watched as Balthazar reached up and grabbed it as if on instinct and pulled it towards him like he really didn’t know why he had done it.


The girl ran over and looked up at Balthazar with the biggest grin on her face as she grasped it – he had held it out to her like he wanted nothing better than to be rid of it – and she clutched it to her chest.


“Thank you so much,” she gushed, out-of-breath, “I don’t know what I would have done if I lost this. It belonged to my great grandmother. How can I repay you?” Balthazar was looking past her at Sam and Sam was trying hard not to laugh. “I know, why don’t you come to my wedding?”


Balthazar was about to protest but Sam butted in, smiling. “He’d love too; it’s just that we are all visiting here, the four of us.” Balthazar gave him a look but Sam just gave him a look back.


“Do I know you from somewhere?” she tilted her head and Sam stopped before blinking and shaking his head. “Oh well, you must have one of those faces. Why don’t you all come? It’s at the community center.” and then she turned and left before they could object.


“Was that-,” Dean made a random gesture but Sam understood it.


“Yeah.”


“Well, looks like we’re going to a wedding.”




The small community center, which Sam had looked up on the internet, had been turned into something out of a winter fairytale. There were little pieces of tissues paper – white and light blue and grey – scattered around the floor and tables, and little clumps of white cotton in corners and around chair legs to represent snow. The chairs and tables were clothes in white silk cloth with little glittering snowmen for the centerpieces. The cups were blue with snowflake designs painted on them to match the plates and cutlery.


“It’s like we’ve walked into a winter wonderland.” Dean complained as he tugged at the bow-tie. He was dressed in a light-blue dress shirt with a black tux and dress shoes, his hair slicked back a little. It was only the rehearsal dinner, normally it would just be for those in the ceremony but the mother of the bride had wanted an audience. Everyone aside from the people involved in the ceremony would also be dressed in their finer clothes, as for request by the groom’s mother. “Have fun.” He turned to leave, obviously not interested in any of this.


Sam opened his mouth to protest and remind Dean they had been graciously invited here by the bride, and that it was the easiest way to get closer to her, to figure out a way to remove Gabriel’s Grace from her… when Castiel reached out a hand and grasped his over-coat, without wrinkling it – Angel powers at work there. He looked at Dean with one of those deep soul-searching gazes, with a hint of a sadness; just a hint.


“Dean,” he said and it was with that deep, gravely voice and Sam swore he saw Dean visibly swallow, “Stay.” Cas was dressed like normal, minuets his Trench coat – Sam had made him leave it at home.


If it was said by anyone else, it would have been a command. But with Cas, and that tone, it was nothing other than a request. It had stopped Dean in his tracks, though, as he turned around completely to stare at Cas, his own eyes searching as they locked into one of those I-want-to-fuck-you stares. Sam wondered if maybe he should give them a moment, look away maybe take a walk, find their places but when his eyes set on Balthazar – he was staring at them with a blank facile expression, but his eyes were blazing with hate, anger and love – he decided against it.


He really did not want his brother getting smote just because he was not there to stop the obviously jealous angel.


Finally Dean sighed and pressed in close to Cas, his shoulders relaxing. “Alright,” he nodded and Cas dropped his hand from Dean’s sleeve. “I just hope they have an open bar,” he added and turned towards their table.


Sam followed behind, in a black suit with the traditional white dress shirt – like Cas – and Bal was in a light-green dress shirt with grey dress pants and over-coat. His hair was fluffed up and he was trailing behind Dean and Cas, hands in his pockets.


They did not look out-of-place for once, and Sam could not help but smile. It was the same feeling Stanford had given him, and when he took his seat Dean was staring at him like he was some sort of freak – it was nothing new.


People were starting to flow into the room – dressed in their formal wear, aside from the bride and groom who were in more formal wear – fancy sweaters and tight fitting clean-pressed jeans. Sam had only met Veronica once, but she had seemed like a nice girl, if a little over-zealous. She kind of reminded Sam of Becky, just a bit tamer with a little bit more of a pervy side – God forbid.


Dean led them over to their table and Sam took a seat, wondering how he was going to get Veronica alone long enough to extract Gabriel’s Grace.


“So, do you think she’ll actually go through with this? This is her third wedding in two months. “


Sam blinked and turned around to see two girls sitting at one of the tables. The one that had spoken was wearing a pink, fluffy thing that did not look very good on her and showed off just a bit too much cleavage. She had straight black hair and green eyes and she was staring at the second girl, who looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here. She was wearing a simple strapless black dress that complemented her much better than the pink-frilly-thing her friend was wearing. She had curly brown hair and brown eyes that were distant.


“Are you even listening to me? Hello? ALEX!”


The girl – Alex - sat up, torn from whatever daydream she had been in and turned to her friend with a sigh: “Sorry,” she mumbled and leaned back in her chair, her eyes moving across the floor to Veronica who sat there, laughing with her husband-to-be. “What did you say?”


“Oh, forget it.” Her friend huffed and crossed her arms.


“So, she’s been engaged more than once then?” Sam asked, butting into the conversation. Neither of them looked upset, Alex looked happy that she was no longer needed to pay attention, and her friend seemed happy to have someone listening to her.


“About two other times this month, and every single time she runs. She gets down the aisle and then she just bolts.” The girl let out a heavy sigh. “She used to be in college, but when it came to exams this semester, she ran from those too. She was living with a few friends in dorms. She ran from that, and she ran from her job, she’s been doing a lot of running lately.”


Sam blinked before nodding and leaning back in his chair. “My name is Sam, by the way.”


“Hailey.” She responded and giggled a little. “Nice to meet you.”


Sam smiled. “Nice to meet you as well.” He turned to look at Alex who was now staring at Veronica with something, a little flicker of… Sam recognized that look, because he’d made it so many times on Gabriel when they were stuck in that place. It was barely concealed love.


“Ignore Alex; she’s such ahead-in-the-clouds lately.” Hailey waved off and then stood up. “But I have to go help Ver, so bye, it was nice meeting you!” and she hurried off.


Sam rolled his eyes a little and turned to Alex, studying the way her hands were clenched so hard her knuckles were going white, and the way she nibbled her lip drawing just a trace amount of blood. Sam moved to sit in the chair next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder gently.


“How long?” He asked and she jumped turning to look at him.


“Wha…”


“How long have you been in love with Veronica?”


Her face went beat red and she waved her hands around, shaking her head feverishly. “What, no, no I have no idea what you’re talking about. Who are you?”


Sam laughed and shook his head. “I’m Sam, and trust me, I know. I can tell, I was the same way about someone I cared about.” Sam stared up at the roof. “I never told him, let him walk away and he got hurt really, really badly and I may never be able to fix it.” He stood up. “Don’t make the same mistake as me, okay?”


He got up and she stared at him before nodding, but there was a defeated look on her face. He smiled. “Just trust me,” he added, before walking off.


He needed to find Veronica.


He found her talking with a few of the party guests. He waved her over and she excused herself for a moment. “Yeah?” she asked and Sam rubbed the back of his neck.


“Can we talk somewhere private for a moment?”


Veronica paused before nodding and following Sam outside, to the deck that over-looked the beach, where Veronica would be getting married tomorrow. Sam placed a hand on the railing before turning to look at Veronica who was staring out at the ocean.


“It’s weird, I feel like I know you, like were connected somehow.” She stared down. “I always think crazy things like that. I’m sorry; you probably think I’m weird.”


Sam shook his head, placing a hand on her shoulder. “No, I don’t.”


It happened a lot faster this time, like the Grace already inside him was reacting to the Grace inside her. He felt the piece be drawn into himself as it curled and wrapped around the other, fusing once again with his own soul. It made him light headed and dizzy and he could feel himself slipping, falling backwards as darkness engulfed him.


~*~*~*~

Large arms were wrapped around his middle, holding him close to something warm, something that pulsated with energy and strength and Gabriel nuzzled into the embrace. It was like being home once more, almost, like when he and Lucifer and Michael used to just… be a family. He let out a content sigh and when he opened his eyes he knew just whose he’d meet. He smiled up at hazel eyes that had patches of green.


“Sam,” he smiled, “You’re warm.” He closed his eyes once more, snuggling into the warmth as Sam chuckled and held him close.


“I am, am I?” he mused and Gabriel snorted. “I miss you so much, Gabriel. I didn’t want you to leave, I should have made you stay, but I’m going to fix this. I promise.”


“I know you will Sam, I’m sorry for leaving. I felt horrible after… I just… I didn’t think I could do it, settle down and be with one person and I didn’t want to hurt you Sam. I never want to hurt you, ever again.”


“Hey, hey it’s okay, I understand.” He could feel Sam’s smile against his cheek as he nuzzled it softly before pulling him into a kiss.


It was the first kiss he’d shared with him since he’d left, since all this horrible mess started. He clung to Sam’s shirt and pulled him closer, clinging almost desperately to him. Despite being desperate and needy the kiss was slow and loving, full of so many promises, truths and feelings Gabriel just had not noticed before; or refused to.


Sam held him close, held him up and suddenly all the fears, all the pain just melted away. He needed Sam, wanted him here with him, screw whatever it was he was doing, if Gabriel ever got better it was going to be with Sam here with him, not out doing Father only knew what. He pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and adding a bit of that into it, quickening the kiss as he tried to convey just how much he needed Sam.


“Soon Gabriel,” Sam broke the kiss and pulled him into his chest. “Soon, I promise.”


Soon just was not fast enough.




Gabriel woke up in his bed and rubbed at his eyes.


Sleeping was still a little startling to him, but seeing Crowley coiled on his chest helped calm him a little. He reached out to stroke his scales and chuckled when Crowley gave an annoyed hiss, opening a single eye to stare at him. Gabriel grinned a little – feeling better than he had before – and Crowley rolled his eyes, placing his head back over his body and drifting off back to sleep. That was fine, except for now Gabriel was stuck on the bed.


Well, that wouldn’t do. He picked up Crowley – who was now cursing to him in many different languages – and put him on the pillow so he could get up. He was going to ask Raven to bring Sam here, or maybe just deliver a message- something. He needed to know this was real and not just some dream, and he knew he was being a big girl but he needed this.


“Before you go back to bed, have you seen Raven?”


“No, ssshe left. Sssomething about being needed elsessswhere or ssssomething. I think the other Trickstersss are holding ssssome sssort of meeting.”


Gabriel hadn’t even asked about the God war. He bit his lip and turned to Crowley. He paused, not sure how to say this, or get the words out.


“When Lucifer took my Grace, when he tore it out…” he rubbed at his temples. “I don’t know everything, some things are fuzzy, and I’m blocking some of it out now. But, I still didn’t hate him, and you already knew that but. I didn’t want him to leave again; I would still give him a second chance.”


“I know you would Gabriel, and maybe sssomeday you’ll be able to give him it.”


“Yeah, someday.”


~*~*~*~

“I’m glad you’re doing better.” Veronica smiled and Sam nodded, running a hand through his hair. “When you passed out I was so worried, but your brother said something about low iron.” Sam rolled his eyes at that and she laughed.


“Anyways, for some reason, you passing out like that, it made me realise why I was running so much.” She grinned. “I was running from myself, and who I really was. I was just scared, but now… Now I’m going to make it right.” She pulled Alex over and wrapped an arm around her waist. “So, you were right and well, we got married. Why waste what’s already there right?”


Sam laughed and watched Alex go a few shades of pink.


Yeah, why waste what’s already there…




Sam saw everything in slow-motion as Dean held him back; there was nothing he could do. This was it; it was all over, what was he going to do? He had to stop it, had to get Dean to let him the fuck go. He struggled harder but Dean just held him tighter, whispering words in his ears; apologies. But Sam didn’t want apologies because no, it couldn’t be over; he couldn’t lose this, not even if this was a side of Gabriel that wasn’t pleasant.


Because he loved Gabriel, loved him and every part of him, even this side of him. He wanted Gabriel whole again, and he couldn’t be, not if they didn’t stop this now. Cas was in the room as well, beside Dean, frowning as he watched them press the buttons, the buttons that released the liquid that would end Jarl Beckman’s life; Gabriel’s Grace with him.


“Dean, Dean, please!” Tears streaked down his face as he struggled harder before falling to his knees, trying to slip away from Dean, but he just fell with him, tears falling down his own face. It was not for Gabriel, it was for Sam, who was so distraught but he didn’t care. “I have to save him!”


“I’m sorry, Sam.” He whispered and he watched the monitor, watched the heart rate plummet before Jarl Beckman flat lined.


Sam screamed.